Old Friends, New Friends

I am finally on my holiday. After studying so hard, I gotta say I passed with flying colours. About 2 months ago, or 3 months ago, I opened an online shop called Vivianne OnlineShop with my big sis. And from that moment, the next thing I know, all of my friends are opening their own business too.. I'm so psyched about us getting mature together. Having the urge to be financially independent. Well, I don't expect much since it was only the beginning, but even GREAT achievements have to be started with that one little humble STEP.

The thing that stumbles in my mind lately is about my circle of friends. It has been quite long that I didn't hang out with my high school buddies anymore, which is my prime circle of friends. And I have been enjoying the company of new friends, that it struck me. Have I forgotten about my old friends?

I have been hanging out quite a lot with Hanny and Anggi. It is funny how I met Anggi back when we were in high school and how close we got only because we went to the same tution centre. After years apart with minimum contact and due to my sudden gym interest and also the fact that now I'm dating one of her friend, somehow, we got in contact and she introduced me to Hanny, who is the liveliest, most talkative, most loud, most adorable person in every cute positive way. (Hanny, if u're reading this right now, please try not to boast about it, which I know, you will do anyway.. -___-")

Yesterday, the three of us were just sitting and talked about stuffs, from work to happiness. Stuffs that randomly ran through our mind. I can spent hours sitting with the two of them and talked about every little thing. It's like we're a couple who are just getting to know each other in the first phase of the relationship. And I realized that I don't do this stuffs anymore with my high school buddies. They are the closest people next to my own family. Yet, every time we got together, we would act like we're old married couples who grow so fond of each other that we turned lazy in making the relationship interesting. It's 9 p.m on a Saturday night and we didn't have any clue what to do anymore, which lead up to going back home.

I discussed bout this with Hanny and Anggi, and Hanny said that it's normal that whenever you got a new circle of friends, you tend to forget the old one. It could be temporary or permanent. I couldn't lie to myself that I enjoy, I really enjoy the honeymoon period of my friendship with Hanny and Anggi. But at the same time, I miss my old friends.

There's just a few things that I can or can't share with the two circle of friends. There's just a slight differences in the jokes between the two circle of friends. There are differences which is inevitable..

I can't blame my high school buddies, as they were busy with their own schedules. But when coming to grab a few bites in the neighborhood, in the present time, I'm more comfortable in asking companion with my new friends. It seems much more practical as we live quite near.

I tend to be indifferent with them. Is it my fault to be indifferent with them? Is it my fault that I grow fonder with my new friends?

The special thing about my high school buddies is, whatever happens between or within us, they will always be there. They might not be there 24/7 showing their attention and care all the time. We don't even talk to each other for a few days as each of us are soaked up in our own business.

The reason why we didn't spend hours of sitting down talking about random, deep topics, like your passions, your goals, your future, well, it simply because we have talked all about it. We have known each other too well that we don't need to dig up the others personalities. We simply know each other too well..

To know that fact, it brings warmth to my mind and soul. It's comforting to know that you have those people at your back. They will always be there, even if it looks like they don't. :)

I love all of my circle of friends, even my university buddies. It's just nice to know you have people that understand and get you for who you are. Without having to be fake or anything..

Btw, yesterday, the three of us went to Playground in Plaza Indo, just to try the food. If I have to rate the food, it'll probably be 6.5/10. For such a cute fancy place, it's just so wrong to substitute nachos with emping.. -___-"

 The Spagetthi Anggi had.. I can make better *boasting*

 The three of us in BINUS bazaar featuring LABELOUS (Hanny's clothing line)

Me and Hanny

The Dorry fish I had with cheese sauce is actually quite nice!

-END-

that "The One"

I can totally relate to the main character in the series 'How I Met Your Mother' (Yes, I love love LOVE this series), Ted Mosby. The TV series is about him telling his kids about the story of his whole adulthood love life, well, eventually he's gonna meet his wife. The thing about Ted Mosby is that he believes soooo much with "the one". He let himself fell high over heels for random women, hoping that they'll become "the one" but got himself heart broken, yet he never gives up.

Which put me to thinking, for those who were thinking to be married in their life, including myself, WE ARE ALL TED MOSBIES! and that's just SAD!

Why should we fell high over heels with someone just to know that we're gonna end up feeling sad anyway..

Why should we go through the whole process of dating and breaking up with others to eventually find the one..

Isn't the idea of finding the one seems so tiring, complicated, and painful?

Why would I wanna spend all those time and effort just to hurt myself in the end?

TED MOSBY IS STUPID! He's so hopeless in love that he successfully made me hopelessly lose hope in love. I have turned into a skeptic in terms of love. I used to be a Ted Mosby. So in lovey dubey, hoping to find the one true companion for life. (apart from the fact that I love this series, which IS very IRONIC)

Now I don't even wanna think about the other companion. Maybe I've changed, maybe I've grown up.. For all I know, my world isn't a fairy tale anymore, where the girl can meet the boy then they live happily ever after. Believe me, I used to have that kinda point of view. I thought I'll grow up, find someone, get married, have kids, and be happy, the end..

BUT...

Would it be strange

If we were to arrange,

a date for some coffee or tea?

Maybe you'd be perfect for me

Oh, I wonder would you like my company.. - David Choi

Hearing this song, it always brings back my hope in love. I don't know whether because it's late and I'm feeling blue or just because of the floating melody, but yes, no matter how much I deny it, in the end, I am just a Ted Mosby.

Even though I know that finding "the one" is like finding a needle in a stack of straw, but wouldn't it be worth finding when I finally get to find him?

Even though I know that I may bump into jerks or assholes or just plain scumbag liars, but when I finally bumped into "the one", am I not gonna be relieved that I may not bump into another jerk or asshole or just another plain scumbag liar

Someday a man is gonna steal my heart and I'm gonna steal his last name..

Yes, how much we deny it, we know that DEEP DOWN INSIDE, we are all just Ted Mosbies..

How much have You grown?

Growing up is the one thing that we can't avoid. No matter how much Peter Pan wanted to stay as a boy, he just couldn't. If he stayed as a boy, he wouldn't care about Wendy. 


One thing I have realized lately is how much I have changed. Well, you can say how much I have grown. At the very first semester of my college study, I was still this naive, childish-looking, don't-care-about-what-others-think kid. I was so reluctant and care-free. I have a very childish path of thinking, very short-termed.

Now, it's been two years and I can say I have changed a lot. From style to mind aspects. From taste to hobbies.

Changes :

1. I used to not work out, don't have the intention or willingness to do it anyway.. NOW, I'm all about 'let's go to the gym and be healthy! Kick some ass there!"

2. I used to wear my Winnie the pooh shirt to campus. NOW, I think I donated the shirt to some poor kid.. I don't even remember what happened to that shirt.

3. I used to think that I don't wanna have a job like my parents. NOW, I am considering their career path and I think that's the easiest and fastest way to earn a living

4. I used to be moody and emotionally unstable(labil). NOW, oh please, what's up with that.. -__-" I don't even wanna be near with anybody who is emotionally unstable..

5. I used to be naive, very naive. NOW, I don't trust people easily, I rethink everything, I don't take sudden decisions, I always consider the benefits and lost of being in particular situations..

6. I used to take dating seriously. NOW, I think dating is just a fun thing to do with no future.. well, in my defense, I'm still young. I don't even dare to think about marriage..

7. I used to not have any income except from my parents.. NOW, I am a tutor and I opened an online shop with my sister.. check it out : www.facebook.com/vivianneonlineshop

It's not much, but at least I'm doing something independently, not by any help of my parents..

There are also several things that remain the same though..

1. I'm not into violence of any kind.. lol

2. NO MATTER how much I changed (whether I realized it or not), I still consider myself a girl, not a lady yet.. and I still have so many flaws that I need to work on

3. There's still that special someone that I have always been attracted to but do nothing about it...

Symbolism, a toad sprang out of her mouth..

As a literature student, I tend to read many classic tales. This morning I read one of Grimm's fairy tales which was titled "The Three Little Men in the Wood". I was amazed by how the Grimm Brothers were able to put so many symbolism elements.

Here is one of my favorite line which I read this morning :

"A toad sprang out of her mouth at each word, so that everyone who came near her was quite disgusted."

This line was referred to a girl who is hateful and really mean in all kinds of way. I personally think what Brother Grimms really meant by the toad was actually the hatred or resentfulness the girl blurted out every time she had the chance.

In reality, in fact, in the present days, I still encounter with these kinds of people. They only spread hatred towards others without having a logical reason in the first place. I feel wary and uncomfortable to be around these people as I have no interest in spreading negative energy, which I think is very tiring. If that person keeps spreading hatred, eventually people will resent from being near her due to her words. Just like the toads coming out from the maiden's mouth, it makes other people disgusted. Oh my God, you can't imagine just how much I can relate this symbolism to these kinds of people that I presently know.

Yeah, I'm disgusted by people who only blurt out hatred. For what reason do you think I'm interested? Can't we just live happily without even bothering them if you hate them in the first place? Why do you care so much for what they're doing or having if you hate them so much in the first place? Aren't you tired of only finding their flaws? Do you think you're the most perfect human being that they are so flawed?

GODDDDD... these kinds of people should have an epiphany or some kind of enlightenment I guess.. I'm just sooooo not interested in hearing hatred or prejudice to other people, that some I even may not know at all..

Don't you realize, when you're talking bad or holding a prejudice towards others and you keep telling your closed ones how much you hate them, you are only making your closed ones suffer and wary of hearing your complaints. In the end, they will ignore or even avoid you..

I don't mean we cannot hate people. We are, in fact, still human and we are capable of holding hatred towards others. But can't you subside these feelings? There are more important positive things you can focus on. It's tiring to have so much hatred, you know..

Lesson of the day : don't make yourself disgusting due to non-logical prejudice towards random people.. cause if you do, seriously, you are disgusting..

spread some love, people! *reebek*